Sry I called you an 8
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
