i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
