he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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