Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
