i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize