O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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