I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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