Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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