3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize