I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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