So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
