Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
