my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize