Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
