i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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