Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
