shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize