I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
