just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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