I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
