Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
