You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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