don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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