I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
