he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
