If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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