This girl is more easily done than said...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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