You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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