i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
