I wanna passion pit in your ass
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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