Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So vagazzling was a success
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize