I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
