I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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