you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I did not marry a roomba.
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