yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
