You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
