My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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