We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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