His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize