I showed him my bush... on skype.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it penis luge time yet?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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