you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
