My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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