it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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