Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As shirtless as possible
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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