There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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