you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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