We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
