yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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