i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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