Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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