Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

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(785): View more from Kansas

This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Perfectly normal.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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(516): View more from New York

i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level

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