I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize