Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
