Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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