I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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