we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
