yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
