She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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