Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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