I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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