We won't sleep together?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
