Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
