But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
